You LOST The Recycle Bin?
by Japanese Lilac
Summary: AU. Based on a true event. Rikku calls Auron for advice. “I DELETED THE RECYCLE BIN!” Blink. Blink, Blink. Maybe he was still drunk. “You did... what?"... R&R, please!


_**You LOST the Recycle Bin?!**|  
Japanese Lilac

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It was a normal day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, Rikku was messing around on her cousin's computer -

Wait a moment.

Rikku on the computer?

Uh-Oh. I wonder if Yuna has any clue about this...

"OH, MY GAWD! NO!"

Apparently not.

Rikku's scream resounded around the general area. Oh, hell, it echoed around the town, never mind the room. Her shriek was loud enough to wake the dead – had there been any living in her dorm – as she frantically went searching for her cell phone.

Well, I guess Auron is a close second.

Quickly flipping open her Razr, Rikku hit number five – speed dial for Auron – and tapped her fingers impatiently against her desk as she waited for him to answer his phone.

Ring...

Ring...

Ri-

"Hello?" The grumpy professor whom Rikku had known her entire life finally answered his phone, sounding begrudged as always.

"AURON! We have a problem!"

There was a momentary pause before a slight sigh came through the ear piece. "Rikku, what have I told you? It's _Professor_ -"

"I don't give a damn if it's Sir Glockenspiel the fifth! I'm having issues!"

Auron groaned, both mentally and vocally, before shaking his head to clear the weariness fogging his brain. This is what happened when he gave students his number. They always called at the wrong timing.

Like when he was hung over.

"Tell me something I don't know... Now, what did you steal _this_ time, Rikku?"

"I swear, I didn't steal anything! Well, anything of remote importance. It was only something tiny, _completely_ insignificant!"

"Get to the point, girl. I don't have all day."

"I DELETED THE RECYCLE BIN!"

Blink. Blink, Blink. Maybe he was still drunk. "You did... _what_?"

He could hear what sounded like sobbing coming over from Rikku's end – _crocodile tears, pfft_ – before the young girl finally replied, "I-I accidentally deleted the Recycle Bin on Yuna's computer! I didn't mean to! It was totally, completely, one hundred and six percent accidental!"

One hundred and six...?

Yeah, he was still drunk.

"How in Spira did you manage to delete the _Recycle Bin_? If I remember correctly, that's the place where you _send_ deleted items -"

"I know, I know! But... I was trying to delete some pictures on there that Tidus was threatening to use for blackmail when suddenly '_POOF_', there goes the bin!"

Pictures?

Now he was curious.

"Blackmail? What sort of blackmail are we speaking of?"

There was a brief, momentary pause before Rikku stuttered back into speech. "W-well... I mean... Uh... There was some... clothing removal involved..."

"Rikku!"

"I couldn't help it! I was _drunk_, it was a Halloween party! I swear, it was a dare! And I _never_ back out of a good dare -"

"What kind of good dare requires you to _remove clothing_?" Auron was now growling into the phone. Whoever the hell came up with this dare idea would soon find their man parts cut off with a very large katana.

His collection of swords wasn't just for show after all.

"I got paid to do it! Seriously, it was fifty bucks for each item of clothing I could manage to take off. That's good money for a poor university student, Auron!"

...

...

...

"Fifty dollars?"

Rikku thought he was beginning to see her point now. "Yeah! See, isn't that a good reason?"

...

"So, you're a stripper now?" Oh, that one hurt. "So, what do you think I should tell your Uncle when he asks why his daughter's Recycle Bin is now gone on her computer?"

_Shit_.

He _wouldn't_.

_He would not dare._

Would he?

"Auron, you can't tell my Uncle! He'll kill me! Murder me! Feed me to my _father_! Do you want to see poor, blond little me eaten by her own father?! It won't be pretty, I promise!"

A dark chuckle flowed from the ear piece. "Then find some way to convince me. You have ten minutes."

_Click_.

_Beep, beep, __**beeeeeeeep**_...

Rikku stared at her phone, emerald eyes wide as the beeping sound permitted the air. What the hell was she going to do now? She had no idea what he intended to do to her - or what he wanted her to do for him!

And she _still_ didn't have the Recycle Bin back!

Oh, _fuck_...

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_Loosely based on a true story._


End file.
